Adoption Can Stop Family Cycles

Pardon the humour in the picture juxtaposed with the topic of this blog. I'm having a little pictorial fun, with a rather serious topic. A "family cycle" on a bike versus the behavioural and genetic cycles of biological families.

In any case, there are many ways in which adoption can interrupt destructive family cycles and this is a very good thing. Be it alcoholism, disorders with genetic predispositions or just plain bad behaviour that's passed onto the next generation. Adoption can interupt the cycle so the family can then have other, more healthy options for the next generation.

I participated in an art therapy workshop. I sat beside an interesting woman who spoke about her biological son who was autistic. She was very interested in adopting because she wanted another child, but couldn't handle another autistic child. She and her husband had the genetic predisposition to most likely create another autistic child. She said she had to quit her job to manage her son's disability full time. He had a team working with him to try and keep up with his peers as best as possible. She seemed exhausted physically and emotionally with the demands of working with these challenges.

She looked to adoption as her salvation of sorts. This experience was an eye opener for me. Reminding me to always keep things in perspective. Biology is not always your friend.

I find as an adoptive parent, I'm more thoughtful about what's best for my kids. What can me and my husband do more of, less of, to be better parents. I believe we have more empathy for our kids, because we also have experienced loss and therefore want to be better and do better for our kids.

I think about my own childhood and what molded me and what characteristics I would like to change in myself so my girls have a stronger, healthier role model to look up to. Honestly, kids rarely listen to what we're saying, but they often mimick what we do. This is what shapes them. As the old saying goes "actions speak louder than words," this can work for us, or against us.

I am changing myself and am doing better, and the best motivation is to do it for my kids. Perspective is everything, you create your own reality, and the reality of your kids.

When I sometimes worry about any bumps my daughters will have along the adoption road, I think of a quote from Helen Keller. "Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthed, vision cleared, ambition and success achieved." The struggle may be difficult, but it builds a stronger person with greater depth of character. The kind of person who would be a great daughter(/son), friend, or spouse.