The topic of biological siblings is a complex one. What's the best way to introduce the concept of biological sisters to a child who was adopted? What is the best age to approach the topic? What choices in language will help your child understand the concept of biological sibling, while still maintaining focus on family and siblings within the adoptive family?
Every situation is so different. In my family, I have two daughters, so I would very much like the priority to be their sibling within our adoptive family. Biological siblings must be talked about, and I believe that it's up to the child to decide if they want to meet their biological siblings.
My current feeling is that it is best to talk about the birth lady first. We've talked to our eldest daughter about how we're an adoptive family and she came out of another lady's tummy. But her birth lady is also a parent now, so in the next year or so we'll need to talk to my daughter about birth lady's daughter. Is it wrong to leave out the part about a biological half sister? This is complicated stuff to a 4 year old. She's still developing the concept of family in her own mind. What does a mom do, what does a dad do, how do I interact with my sister? My daughter is clever, so in time I know she will put it together. But will she resent me for not laying it all out for her?
My other thought is that I'm just worrying too much, and that however I approach it, it'll all come out fine in the end. So long as I treat the topic with respect and follow my kids lead, it'll be okay. I'm so protective of my girls, I want to do my best to ease any emotional rough patches while my girls are learning just what it means to be a part of an adoptive family. I know I also have to learn to let go and to trust that all will be well. When they're older, they will go out and traverse the rest of their emotional journey on their own. Who knows, it may not be very emotional at all!!!
