Perfectionism. A badge of honour? A helpful motivator? Or an excuse to delay and avoid really living? I have always quite enjoyed being a perfectionist, I found it to be quite satisfying, likely because my maternal role model is a perfectionist as well.
I've found lately this idea of trying to be the perfect parent is just overwhelming. There is too much to take on, and not enough time to just be. I recently attended a workshop that linked perfectionism with anxiety. I was stunned at the correlation and didn't realize how many problems this affinity for perfectionism was causing me.
Being an adoptive parent, I want to be an excellent parent, if not perfect, to my girls to help prove my devotion and love to them and to help them know that they matter. They may have been adopted, but they matter to me. Is this too much to ask, when anxiety becomes difficult to control? I think so.
Life's funny. They say you get out of it, what you put into it, and sometimes, I feel I'm trying to put too much into it. Why is it so difficult to accept shortcomings? Whatever the answer, it doesn't really matter. What's more important is to model being comfortable with being imperfect, learning to laugh and make light of shortcomings. Those lessons will help children more as they grow, than trying to be perfect.
